My baby girl Tatum is now 4 months old! We’re starting to develop a schedule that allows me to focus more on Forwhen (i.e., one where she has a solid night’s sleep), but more on that soon. Now that she’s outgrowing her 0-3 clothes, I wanted to think back about what made the past few months a lot easier. When I was in the depths of registry building and pregnancy insomnia, my social media algorithms loved to show picture-perfect nurseries full of neutral “infant essentials.” While I agree that the Snuggle Me lounger, a million burp cloths, and a Baby Bjorn bouncer are truly necessities, here’s what got me through the first 3 months that you won’t find in a curated Instagram slideshow.

• The largest, comfiest T-shirts I could find and more nursing bras than seems reasonable: Postpartum night sweats are extremely unpleasant, and even worse when you only have sleep shirts in your pre-pregnancy size and everything is just, well, wet.

• Easy access, zip-up sweatshirt: I was a lot comfier once I wasn’t shedding all my layers to breastfeed. Plus, I wear this when she’s in her carrier (more on that soon).

• One pair of pants that fit: I like to say that I’m curating a jeans museum—I have the ghosts of sizes and trends past hanging in my closet. For the time being, it feels nice to have at least one pair of pants that make me feel presentable.

• Facebook Marketplace: I feel a sense of pride looking around Tate’s nursery and seeing all of my scores that were either free or heavily discounted.

• A sandwich on fresh bread: I don’t need to say anything else here.

• AirPods + audiobooks: To stay awake during late night feeds, I’ve relied on my headphones and not podcasts but audiobooks, because hearing an ad for direct-to-consumer sweaters at 3am feels adding insult to injury. I’m partial to memoirs, especially when read by the author. My favorites have been The Many Lives of Mama Love and The Vanity Fair Diaries.

• Not only having a carrier but using it: So many friends tell me that they got carriers off their registry but their babies never took to them. I use a carrier at least once a day, either for walks outside or naps inside, and love the flexibility. Tate has a 99% nap success rate in the carrier—it took a little bit of fussing at first but we pushed through! I have the Artipoppe (borrowed from a friend, thanks Jordan!) and the Solly wrap.

  

• Going to mom groups + classes: After I felt recovered from my C-section, I realized that getting out of the house everyday (and seeing someone other than my husband or baby) makes a huge difference. Being able to talk to other moms in my exact life stage affirms everything I’m going through—plus you get better advice when asking questions face-to-face than in a Reddit black hole. It’s a great reminder that everything is a phase and we’re all just trying to get through the day. Moms online can often seem like a judgmental mob, but moms IRL, in my experience, have been warm, welcoming, and generous.

• Frozen chocolate chip cookies: Ideally gifted to you by a friend who’s an ace baker. Thank you as always to my pal, Aya.

• A lo-fi label-maker: Because it’s a lot more fun to put labels on breastmilk storage bags with this guy, for some reason. Also works well for identifying all of those different drawers full of tiny clothes.

I’m already excited to see what the next three months will bring (hint: it’s putting everything in her mouth), and would love to hear other suggestions from all of you on what made the first few months more bearable. Til next time!